== ME ==

I am sitting here in this moment. Trying to meditate. We can meditate on anything. We can meditate on time. We can mediate on vast expanse of universe. With my limited mind and awareness I can experience mixed effects of past and present. I was same 'me' in the beginning, even before I developed the capacity to think and react it was same 'me.' This 'me' has been through many stages in this life. Happiness, joy, sorrow, sadness, bliss, relaxation, tension, meanness, selflessness, serenity all are known to this 'me.' This 'me' was born with me and have spent most time in my company. It can get bore with me but can not run away from me. I see you, I like you, I love you and this 'me' goes to you for sometime. After sometime either you cannot keep this 'me' or this 'me' comes back to me on its own. This 'me' is my vehicle to higher stages of consciousness. It gets influences from past, understands a few things of present and does not know anything about future. Its knowledge of future is in form of hopes and fears. It certainly does not want to loose any good thing in the same way it does not want to get any bad thing. This play of hopes and fears keeps this 'me' moving like a pendulum. Hopes increases and go down, fears increases and go down. With hopes fears are attached and fears become bearable with hopes. This pendulum of hopes and fears becomes an obstacle to realization of peace which delves in us. May be someday I'll be able to tell myself 'I have no hopes because I do not want anything and I have no fears either because I am not afraid of loosing anything.' Peace will start manifesting itself when this pendulum 'll stop its momentum. I am sitting here. Wishing the pendulum to go highest in regions of hopes so that it never gets a chance to travel in regions of fears. I still have a long way to go. This pendulum can take a while to find a resting place.